Changes and Growth: Life's Pattern to Live a Fulfilled Life

Why hello there friend, enemy or acquaintance. It's been quite a while since I've posted here. I sometimes post small quips on Facebook, but I don't really find that it's the right forum to truly divulge deep thoughts and sentiments. I'm not sure if I'll be updating this very often, which, let's be honest, you've already got enough corners of the internet to check every day. I bet you are already seeing the length of this blog post in your peripheral vision questioning if you'll even finish it. Well, I hope you do, and I'm sure you'll feel like you know me more by its end. Go ahead, give it a shot :)

I've changed a lot in the past 2 years, especially this past year of 2012. I've learned a lot about myself, and learned a lot that I needed to change. A 4 year relationship ended at the end of 2011, showing me what true emotional pain feels like. It's single handedly the worst thing that I've ever felt or been through. But I wouldn't trade it for a thing in the world. Losing your best friend, not to mention your girlfriend, is a tough thing to experience. There was a plan in that, and only being on the other side of it can you realize what it was. Growing is tough. Things have to change to grow, and sometimes that means things being ripped out of your life. I've been over that situation for a good 9 months now, which is freeing to me to be able to talk about it. I can withhold what I want, because, frankly, its none of your business. But to show you where I am, you must know where I've been. I've changed a lot of things in my life, which I cannot express in words to you how great it feels to not be stuck in your 'way of life.' So many people have one mindset and never give an attempt in the pursuit of life and happiness. I'm not one of them any longer. 

I'm thankful to have true friends in my life that can sit me down and tell me where I'm being an idiot without calling me an idiot. It's a great thing to have people in your life that have experienced different situations and can give you trial and error methods of when things worked, and when they didn't. I faced many things that I needed to change, seemingly all at once. It was quite a hurdle, but its a good thing this rabid cheetah in lane 2 was ready for the race :)  I looked at it as a challenge. I've always looked at personal development as a challenge, but until you face it head on, you don't realize how tough it can be. But when you look in life's mirror, you can only smile when you think about how worth it it was to have gone through that experience.

One of the most important things that I learned was that it is ok to be wrong. I put such stipulations on myself about doing the best job possible and not letting anyone down that when I inevitably did, I let myself down far worse. When I let them down, I forgot to express that nice little word 'sorry' that allowed them to understand that I truly was sorry, and I'll do better next time. Instead, I came off as defensive and acted in pride. My heart didn't mean to be prideful, it was just the byproduct of the failure. Looking back on that part of me now, I am so happy to be able to apologize when I have failed. I still strive to do the best job attainable in each given situation but I have the wisdom running along with it that if it doesn't match up to the standards I had set in my mind, its ok. There's always another day to do better, and improvement is a goal that is never attained, but is always aimed for. 

Another thing is I started hating how opinionated I was, and how it made me look. I've come to accept other's opinions, disagreeing or agreeing. I've learned to respect people's opinions without comparing it to my own, and I've gained much freedom in just this one act of self-adjustment. Now when I see others holding tight onto an opinion and not having an open mind to another side, I smile inside a little because I remember I used to do that. Don't get me wrong, I still hold tight to certain ideals and moral ties that I've grown up with, but I try and do it with more tact and love. There's nothing wrong with disagreeing and having spirited debates. After all, its what makes us individuals. 

I've also began to have a love for people that I've never had before. I've learned to try and relate to people's situations whether I've experienced it or not. I just truly care about what they are going through and want to do what I can to help. Sharing love to a stranger is one of the most selfless things you can do, and I'm striving to do that every chance I get. 

My attitude and outlook have taken a drastic turn for the better as well. I've recently had a 90 day performance evaluation at my job, and being told that my attitude brings freshness to the department made me feel so happy I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because I knew that I used to look at things with a more negative filter, but I now try and look for the positive side of everything. Its another one of those goals that is always being pursued, but knowing how it used to be only makes it better when you choose positivity over a negative thought. 

I've learned many other things so far in the quarter-century I've lived on this planet, and I'm looking forward to the next lesson. I encourage you to hold fast to yourself, and stay true to who you are. Ask yourself one important question. It's a question I asked myself a quite some time ago, and its given me much freedom in knowing who I am as a person and as a Christian. Do you believe what you believe because someone close to you does, or do you believe it because in the depths of your heart you know that you believe it? Its never going to change inside of you and for the rest of your life you will hold fast to it? You have to be able to have a real and true conversation with yourself about that question. There's not a right or wrong answer really. Personally, I found that a lot of the beliefs my friends and family hold onto I truly share deep in my heart. I just had to know that I believed them because I truly felt they were right, not because they believed them. Your answer might vary, but at least you'll know more of who you are at the end of that thought process. 

Well, this has been fun. I truly appreciate you reading this if you've gotten this far. I enjoy sharing my heart in this form and find it a great outlet to express my heart. 

You are blessed, now live like it! :)

Our Heart Motives and Our Tongue

I'll start off with scripture from James chapter 3:

"Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the the same mouth come praise and cursing."

Think about that for a minute. What comes out of our mouths can be the highest praise to our King. It can be exactly what a depressed person needed to hear. It can lift the spirits of someone who has suffered loss, pain and anguish. It can be used to save someone from eternal damnation and share the love of Christ and what He did for them.

On the opposite side, it can be used to bring death and destruction. It can become a vile pit of despair and treachery and bring total chaos into someone's life. It can tear down the restless and sting the soul of the innocent.

We fail to realize what a powerful tool our tongue is. It literally has the power to bring life or death into our lives. James 3 also says: "but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." I believe that when James wrote this to the twelve tribes, he was giving them a challenge. A challenge to watch what comes out of their mouth. Is what they are saying lining up with the Word of God? If so, it is bringing life, if not, it is bringing death and destruction.

We must remember what is in the heart comes out the mouth (Matt. 15:18). How do we control what is in the heart? By being steadfast at what we let our eyes see and ears hear. What is in our heart matters the most with the Lord. If we do great works in His name; casting out demons, healing the sick and giving to the poor, but our heart did not have the right motives, the motives of God, it was all for not. Our heart motives need to be of God's heart. Our hearts should beat with his. If his heart is full of compassion for someone, ours should too.

Its all a big cycle. We let our eyes and ears see and hear things all day long; people, TV, radio, cell phone, etc. That's all fine. But its how we interpret what we heard that's important. Did what that person say bring life or death? How do you feel about that? Are you going to let your heart accept that thing as truth and let it be ok? Or will you stand up inside yourself and say NO! That is not of God and I do not let that penetrate my heart! That decision is the precursor to what comes from our lips. You WILL say what's in your heart, that's just how it is. It's a constant struggle everyday to live in this world. We are constantly inundated with negative speech and things opposite of God's will. We must always ask the Lord to take out the heart motives that are not of Him, and make our hearts pure before Him.

David was called "A man after God's own heart" even from a young age, before he was even king! He sought the heartbeat of God, wanting His motives to captivate him. Sure, he messed up many times throughout his life, but he always was after God's heart.

When Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist (Matt. 3:13) and God said "This is my son, whom I love; with Him I am well pleased," not one miracle had yet been done by the hand of Jesus. What does this mean? God was pleased with the attitude and motive of Jesus' heart, not His works! He hadn't done any works yet, the Father was looking at His heart! This should show us that no matter what we do for God, no matter how many we lead to the Lord or how many sick we heal in His name, we must always make sure our heart is in the motions of His. If we don't first captivate that fire and keep it burning, nothing else matters.

God wants us to have hearts after Him before we go after them.

Fulfilling Destiny

"For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge, and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverence, godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins."

-2 Peter 1:5-9

God placed each and every one of us on this planet to fulfill a purpose. Maybe your purpose is to 

preach to 2 million people in a service. Maybe its to greet people at the door of that service. 
Maybe its to clean the toilets for the people of that service. Maybe its to repair the vehicles so 
that the people can drive to that service. Maybe its to serve the food after that service is over.

Whatever your destiny is, you have to pursue it. And if you don't know what your destiny is, 
then keep following the Word of God until your destiny is manifested. You won't ever truly know 
if you don't fulfillthe purpose that all of us were sent here to do; serve God and make him known. 
If you aren't fulfilling thatpurpose, then how can you truly get a grasp on your true individual destiny?

I'm at a point in my life now that I have no idea what I'm to do with it. I serve the Lord faithfully 
at my church. I love serving at church. If the purpose of my life for the rest of my life is to continue 
doing what I am doing currently, I would be happy. Because in serving my pastors and elders, 
I am serving the Lord. And when I am serving the Lord, I am fulfilling my destiny. Whether I know 
it or not, I am fulfilling my destinyby being a blessing to those around me, and through doing so, 
my own personal destiny will be revealed.

I just want to encourage you, dear reader, to serve God with your whole heart. Not 3/4 of it, 
ALL of it. If you want ALL that God has for you, then give Him ALL of your life. And by doing this, 
your true destinyshall be revealed.

Patience is a hard thing to master, but you'll have to be to master it....

Freedom

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, 
there is freedom." 

-2 Corinthians 3:17

God is so funny. It never ceases to amaze me how the creator of the universe, the dude that made everything we see, lets us just monkey up things He's given us. People throw their trash on the ground.... freely. They trash up their lives.....freely. They do drugs, have sex, smoke, drink, kill, steal, covet, lie, kill themselves, hate one another........freely. 

We are so free in this country we don't even realize it. The saying "You don't know what you got till its gone" is so powerfully true. Take away our freedom to sin, and watch the outcry that would come. As humans, we WANT to sin. I know I do. Sinning is so fun! I can do whatever I want, freely! How sweet is that? But when you get a firm grasp on the truth, sin is disgusting. 

Sin only lasts so long until its not fun anymore. Keep having sex, and a baby or an STD is surely coming. Keep drinking, and alcoholism is knocking on your door. Keep doing drugs, and over dosing is lurking behind you. Keep stealing, and jail will find its way to you. Keep smoking, and lung cancer is creeping around the corner. You see, all these things sure must be fun, but when the fun is over, its ALL over. 

But my friends! I have great news! You can't die from too much Jesus! You can have all of Him you want! You won't OD, you won't get an STD, you won't keep cancer in your body, you won't be addicted to something that will kill you....

The freedom that the Lord gives you is TRUE freedom! Freedom to do what you want, but when you know Him, you want to please Him! You want to tell others about what you've found! You want more and more of Him everyday! 

You know what the best part about it is? You don't have to buy Him, steal Him,or hide Him, He's freely provided to you! All He wants is to have a relationship with you! He's always loved you, He just wants you to realize His love for you! He is your ultimate provider. No matter what you need, He's got it. 

Freedom in Him is the purest form of freedom. It's TOTAL freedom. Its so wonderful its hard to describe. Its better than any sex or drug. Its better than having millions of dollars. It's Jesus. 

He's asking you to get to know Him, will you? 

'My People Parish for Lack of Vision'

If there is one thing that my youth pastor and best friend instills in me frequently, its keeping the vision alive.

What do we have without vision? Without vision, we wander aimlessly in the abyss that is this world. We aren't sure of our future, but live life day by day, hoping things get done and end up ok. But if you keep a vision alive, keep it real to you, attainable to you, a never ending goal to you, you will never stray lost and never turn from what you know to be right.

Right now, my vision is to keep life moving forward so that mine and my girlfriends future will be seamless and a smooth process. So many people go into things so unprepared. They lack the wisdom that is surely needed in order to progress and profit in their endeavors. The Lord says His people parish for lack of vision. Jumping into things on a whim is not wise, mainly because its probably not apart of your overall vision. If it were, you would have studied that situation further and realized all possibilities before taking on such a task.

Vision is the driving force of my life. If I didn't have future goals, then why would I care to be in the positions I am? Why would I be in a relationship with a beautiful, talented, amazing and Godly girl? Why would I be in a position of leadership in my youth group? If I didn't share the same visions as my leaders, then it would be pointless for me to continue with what I am doing.

Keep the vision my friends. Figure out what you want the overall picture of your life to entail, and seek after it like a ferocious lion, never stopping for anyone that tries to stop you. But always stay wise in your decisions, because all it takes is one bad decision to completely derail the plans you have put in place to reach your vision. Never stop, and never waiver.